Fire Hearts Eye

When I look at this picture, it makes me think of many different things. What could it mean? The hearts coming out of the eye could symbolize love or attraction. Did you know that when you look at someone you find physically attractive, your pupils get bigger?
It could also mean brokenhearted. The hearts coming *out* of the eye because a person no longer feels love for another person.
It could signify a person losing their memories, or rather, their *heart*.
And lastly, it could mean a person losing consciousness. Losing that last breath, loosing their life.
To me, the fire of the hearts, the way they slide gently and slowly, like smoke, from the eye, means that a person is losing their sanity. Letting go of everything that once held them together, and becoming an animal; living only to eat and breathe and sleep.
What would happen if this happened to everyone? Earth just couldn't take all the emotions and so every human being slowly slipped into becoming still. Becoming one with no heart. It's a scary thought, so I wonder, whoever made this eye, what were they thinking at the time?

Blood, Sweat, and *Tears*

I love this picture. It is so passionate to me. So deep and emotional.

Matt di Angelo

I think he is (not only a gorgeous) but a very impressive person.
He is a great dancer.
What makes him gorgeous?
*His grey eyes
*His tan skin
*His smile
*His hair
Sigh.
I once emailed a man that I (not intentionally) fell in love with. He was sending me pictures of this guy, and I thought it was him. (No, it really wasn't.) So I've been pretty much in love with Matt di Angelo since then. Sigh.
I have a lot of celebrity crushes.

Darkness

Pictures like this:



make me want to stay up late. I want to go exploring in the darkness. I love darkness. It makes me curious. The darkness makes me feel alive.



Isn't it beautiful? I want to walk through that darkness. I want to look out in the light.
Darkness is a cloak of cold that helps you think. Darkness is when the world is silent. Darkness is a time when everyone, afraid or not, knows what time it is. Darkness is a place where anyone can go. All it takes is the flip of a switch, the closing of blinds, or simply going outside.



I wish I was there.

Eyeliner

As a kid, I always thought makeup was scary and only for old people. My mother didn't wear any, but that didn't matter. My mother wasn't pretty so she didn't wear makeup. Only pretty people wore makeup, right? I used to think so.
When I became a teenager and finally able to wear makeup, I was in love with it.
I think eyeliner is beautiful. People tell you not to wear it dark and think, not to put it all the way around your eye. I don't care! I love eyeliner thick and dark and I'll wear it how I want to.
Thank the heavens for eyeliner--otherwise I might die.

Carpet

They have carpet like this in the Netherlands, isn't that neat?

The Piano

I play piano.
Over the years, I have found myself more drawn to the piano than I ever would have guessed. A few years back, I hated practicing, and I hated my mother for making me take lessons as a kid. Now, I've seen the beauty.
Just look at it! With it's shiny black keys, with the whites inbetween. Isn't it glorious?
And the music. Major songs...minor songs. I myself prefer minor songs. (the songs that sound "sad") I find them more stunning, more thoughtfully written, and more beautiful.
I once read a poem by Kratos Aurion:

Piano
The sweet melody echoing in your room,
I can hear it.
Your soft singing along with the sound of the piano,
I could feel your hand brushes past the white keys with such caress.
You sweetly sang as your voice rang through my head...
Ah, what an alluring music that is...
I hope it can last forever...

I know that poem is more about a lover than about a piano, but doesn't it make you realize how the soft notes of the piano can actually bring two people closer?

Fire!

This fire was held close to my home.
I have to say, I think fire is fascinating.
All the different colors. Sometimes it can be so hot it turns blue. Other times, when the fire is dying, just before it turns to just ashes, it is green. Have you noticed that?
Not to mention the bright, burning orange. I mean, where else do you see that kind of orange?
But fire is dangerous. As a kid in Montana, I once burned my hair with a candle. It wasn't on purpose. I just leaned over to smell the candle, and watch the wax as it melted. Then--POOF! My hair went up in flame! Very quickly my mother put it out, but my hair smelled of fire for weeks. It horrified me, I was only 5.
Now-a-days, fire is a glorious thing. Fire is also disatrous. It has killed many, many people. But I think that's why everyone is so drawn to it. The...curiosity. The unknowning. The . . . thrill of seeing fire.
Have you ever touched fire? Did you know that you can touch it without burning yourself?
I love fire.

I hate all MALE swans.

Every woman has an irration, terrible of something. Mine? Male swans.
Four of my aunts, my mom and I, went on a walk a few days ago. We wanted to see these new baby swans.
Well, walking up the trail, we see the male swan swimming towards us. (Mr. Protective) He swims strange, he sort of sticks his front out and pushes through the water. We all laugh and take pictures.
As we walked toward the momma swan and her two babies, the dad literally jumps OUT OF THE WATER and follows us! This boy was pretty huge--I'd say 3 feet high with his neck down and feathers in.
Finally, after a lot of slow-backing-away, he got back in the water.
We crept over to the mom and took pictures and cooed. Then came the dad, as fast as he could swim, doing the whole frontal thing, as soon as he found us, coming after us.
By now, my aunts had gone back to the path and it was just me and my mom with the bad-boy.



He jumps right out of the water and comes straight at us. My mom started talking real soft at it, and we slowly backed away. (I was terrified, and making little squealing noises.) Then suddenly, he straightens his neck, flares his wings, and jumps straight at ME!
I screamed as loud as I could scream and boy-oh-man did I run! Instantly I was crying and I couldn't breathe and my aunt was holding me and trying to get me to stop freaking out. (Way to make ya feel mature, huh?)
It was TERRIFYING! I hate male swans! HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!

Fingernail Polish

I am on a vacation, and have found the joy in simply painting my fingernails.
I did a really crappy job, but it cleaned right back off with water! (My mistakes, that is.)
Wouldn't it be nice is other things in our lives just washed away when they got wet?
Everyone has a past. I have a scary one. But it doesn't mean it effects my life all the time. My past used to rule my life. I used to be such a hurt person.
Now, I am changing.
Like the nail polish astray from my actual fingernails, the small, unimportant pieces of my life are beginning to wash away. It's not easy, and my eyes haven't been dry during this process, but it was worth it. And like my BFF said, "You will feel better about yourself." And even though right now I feel like vomiting (stupid Idaho humidity is killing me. sorry! it's not my fault I'm not used to it, I don't live in this state!) I feel better about my soul.
How I did it? I didn't care. I stopped caring. I became exactly who I wanted to be, and I didn't care what people thought of me.
But I can't take full credit for this change. It has come with work from both my best friend, and someone else I am very close to.
Try painting your fingernails. I dare you.